Keswick Life

Lifestyles in Keswick and its environs

Keswick Life

HORSIN’ AROUND

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By Rebecca Walton of Phelps Media Group

The Virginia Horse Center Foundation (VHC) entertained members of their Board of Directors, advisory board, and guests during an evening of conversation and cocktails on Feb. 21. Hosted by Gardy Bloemers, a member of the Foundation’s Board Executive Committee and Vicky Castegren, an Advisory Board member, the event helped educate members of the broader equestrian community about recent challenges and improvements made to the facility as well as the opportunity to further establish the facility as one of the premier multi-discipline and multi-breed competition facilities in the mid-Atlantic.   

During the two-hour event, Bloemers, CEO John Nicholson, and Board of Directors President Ernie Oare addressed the guests, who reside throughout the United States.

“The Virginia Horse Center has such a large group of supporters including equestrians who love to compete at the facility throughout the year, and friends of the VHC continues to grow,” Bloemers said. “One of the reasons we wanted to gather in Wellington is because it is a a center for equestrian excellence. The purpose of the Advisory Board is to strive to take the VHC into a new era of excellence, much like what we see here.”

The sentiment of progress and continued improvement was echoed when CEO John Nicholson, the former executive director of the Kentucky Horse Park, explained what makes the VHC special.

“There is an incredibly energetic community of people that love the VHC and with that energy I believe that we are going to build and do great things,” Nicholson explained. “I believe that our strategic plan is incredibly effective and we are consistently moving forward with a cutting edge comprehensive plan that promotes environmental sustainability, green space and equestrian initiatives.”

Nicholson also took some time to educate guests on what he saw as the eternal bond between Virginia and the history of the horse in the United States. “We understand that the heart of what we are doing is celebrating the eternal bond between the mankind and the horse because Virginia is where it all started,” Nicholson commented.  “At the VHC, we realize that we are honoring the heritage that Virginia has earned as being the mother of our relationship with the horse dating back to the colonies.”

Nicholson concluded his remarks by calling on all of the participants to submit suggestions of events that would be appropriate to hold at the VHC to help them continue to grow and improve.

Located in Lexington, Virginia, the Virginia Horse Center is a premier horse show and events facility in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It features eight barns, nineteen show rings, a 4,000 seat coliseum and a state of the art cross country course all nested in 600 acres of rolling hills.

To learn more about the Virginia Horse Center, their strategic plan and a full list of upcoming events, please visit www.horsecenter.org

Photography courtesy of the Virginia Horse Center, Lenore Rees Phillips

COVER STORY: Unseasonable Warmth Brings Early Spring

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By Winkie Motley

The weatherman said the other night that we said goodbye to meteorological winter, marking the last of the three coldest months of the year, once the calendars rolled over to March. We’re still a bit away from the official first day of spring and some days still feels very much like winter.

However, Keswick has had a record heat in February with 9 days of temperatures over 70!

Then last week a strong storm blew through Keswick, bringing with it strong winds and heavy rains that downed trees and knocked out power. The storm was part of a line of super-cell thunderstorms that slammed the Midwest Tuesday , spawned tornadoes and destroyed more than 100 homes. Central Virginians enjoyed a second day of record-high temperatures on Wednesday, but that was expected to change overnight as a cold front pushed its way into the region, offering a chance of rain with snow farther north in Pennsylvania.

National Weather Service meteorologists said Wednesday’s temperature hit 71 degrees. That was cooler than Tuesday’s record of 75 degrees, but still 9 degrees higher than the record high of 62 for February 8 that was recorded in 1991. The average high for February in Keswick is about 48 degrees. Meteorologists say they expect a cold front that began to move into the region and cause rain and snow across the Mid-Atlantic into Thursday.

Soon enough it will be time to spring forward!

The first day of Spring is March 20th. At 2 a.m. on Sunday, March 12 Daylight Saving Time will start and last for about eight months this year  you’ll lose an hour of sleep, but the good news is it means there are more hours of daylight every day. Now Daylight saving time is just days away, when clocks will spring forward an hour despite the fact that we’re still in the midst of the winter season.. The Energy Policy Act of 2005, which came into effect two years later, stretched DST from four weeks to five, changing its start date from the first Sunday of April to the second Sunday of March. The rule also changed the end of DST, moving that date from the last Sunday in October to the first Sunday in November, Mass Live noted.Though DST means you’ll be losing an hour of sleep, on the bright side it means that you’ll see the sun shining from the sky for an extra hour, WXYZ noted. Past theories suggest that DST was implemented so that farmers could benefit from more sunlight.

Other theories suggest that a desire to save more energy was one of the main reasons why the time change was originally made.Those are theories that have been passed down from generations, and might not mean as much to millennials. We live in a time where most of us don’t have to worry about setting our clocks forward or backward unless we’re setting an alarm for ourselves. Smartphones, computers and even some automobiles have the ability to change the clocks accordingly all on their own, and that will be the case when DST starts March 12. Soon days will be longer and weather will stay warmer.

Enjoy Spring in Keswick! Go Steeplechasing !

ONLY IN KESWICK: About Gaseous Emissions

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By Tony Vanderwarker

Admittedly, this is a touchy subject. Although the word is one of the oldest in the English language, using it is considered by many to be beyond the pale. Deriving from the Middle English fertan, it’s akin to the Old High German fersan, which means to break wind. I guess the High Germans figured it you fersanded, there’d better be a wind around.

Now Martians accept the word for what it is but the ladies from Venus consider it to be indecent and offensive. So guys fersan (with sound) and polite people like Venusians pass wind (no sound). Which makes me wonder if you pass wind with no sound, is that an actual fersan? Sort of if a tree falls in the forest kind of thing.

Then there is the scent. Most fersanders (Martians and Venusians) quickly stride away from the noxious yellow cloud, leaving it hovering behind for unfortunates to unwittingly walk into. If that’s ever happened to you, you know well the reaction. You stand there with your nose wrinkling up looking around to locate the guilty party. Of course, everyone is far away and acting totally innocent so you write it off, thinking, maybe there’s a dead mouse under the sofa?

Now while the word is banned in printed media, it is used all the time in common parlance. For instance, “he’s an old fersan”, or “as out of place as a fersan at a garden party,” and of course, every teenager’s great love, the “fersan cushion.”

But God forbid you ask in mixed company: “Did someone just fersan?” Even if someone did, you don’t dare use the word lest you be written off as a barbarian.

Which brings me to guys. Guys learn at an early age that nothing is quite as satisfying as lifting one leg and letting a fersan rip–the louder and more flapping the sound (imagine a playing card clothes-pinned to a bicycle wheel)–the better. It’s a male ritual, one that survives into old age. It’s especially gratifying for guys to rip one in a narrow corridor so the sound reverberates like clapping hands in a canyon.

Of course, nothing offends Venusians more than a juicy fersan, especially if an odor attends it.

Now if you choose to fersan in a car, here’s my counsel. Before the cheek-lifting maneuver, hit the down buttons on the front windows so most of the yellow cloud flies out into the county. And all you get is a sneeringly-intoned, “That’s disgusting.”

If you don’t go for the open window option, be prepared for your wife to act like she’s been tear-gassed, swatting at the air with her hands while screaming unmentionables at you.

Of course, they never cut the cheese–never ever. They might pass gas or break wind, but as I said earlier, women never fersan. If you say, “Did you just fersan?” They get all self-righteous, and archly ask, “Who me?” Here’s the way the rest of the conversation goes:

Me: “Yes–you, I heard it.”

Her:“ Heard what?”

Me: “The fersan.

Her: “I didn’t fersan.”

Me: “Then what’s that smell?”

Her: “What smell? I don’t smell anything.”

When it comes to fersanding, women always take the 5th. If you really catch them in the act, they’ll offhandedly dismiss it as “just an intestinal disturbance.”

The history of fersanding is fascinating. In a recent article, “How a Fart Killed 10,000 People”*, Candida Moss, a professor at Notre Dame, writes, “We might think of farts as trapped gas, but the history of farting is more than just hot air. The historian Josephus tells us that an irreverent Roman soldier lowered his pants, bent over, and ‘spoke such words as you might expect from such a posture.’ The incident took place shortly before the Passover and caused a riot that led to the deaths of 10,000 people.”

Lest you think that the history of fersanding is only tragic, she goes on to say that “the oldest joke in the world is a fart joke.” She cites Roland le Sarcere, “also known as Roland the Farter, court minstrel to King Henry II, as the most successful purveyor of fart jokes. Roland performed a dance that ended with the simultaneous execution of one jump, one whistle, and one fart. For his talents, Roland was gifted a manor house in Suffolk and 100 acres of land.”

She sums up her article by saying that fersands are the cellar dwellers of bodily sounds. Burps can embarrass, hiccups may get a laugh, sneezes meet with “God bless” and even coughs are acceptable, while the lowly fersand awaits social rehabilitation—even though scientists estimate that the average person fersands 14 times a day.

So the next time your hubby cuts one, remember all you Venusians, maybe he’s simply angling for a house and a hundred acres in the country.

LIFE, MAKE IT HAPPEN! Beware of a Wife Bearing Gifts

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By Mary Morony

The guinea bird danced around gabbling at me, patience never being one of his virtues. Since I couldn’t remember when I last threw food out to him I was feeling a little guilty.  As I was barefoot, I assure you I would not have done so otherwise, I shoved my feet into Hub’s much-loved bedroom moccasins. To my surprise I had to hobble out to cast some cracked corn about for the impatient foul.

I’m not sure of the expected life of the lining in fleece-lined shoes, though I suspect eight years exceeds the most liberal forecast. The insoles of Hubster’s slippers felt like the dingle berry end of an ancient ill-kept ewe must feel, like walking shoeless on lima bean sized river rocks.

Years ago when these shoes I had on my feet emerged from under the Christmas tree, they were comfortable fleeced-lined mocs. Contrary to Hub’s usual approach of eyeing a gift with suspicion, he jettisoned whatever he had on his feet and ensconced his tootsies into this new plushness. Two other pair of similar footwear I had trotted out for his perusal over the years never made it out of their boxes. Hubs exclaimed -something he never does- “these were the best present I’ve ever gotten!”

In the ensuing years, when he is home and when the ambient temperature is less than seventy degrees rest assured he will be shod in these sorry slippers. They stand at the ready next to his side of the bed to protect his tender toes from ever coming in contact with the floor and by the garage door for him to don before doing his equivalent of, Honey I’m home at night.

Like any good dutiful wife, I kicked off the repulsive footwear and made my way straight to the L. L. Bean website where I placed an order for an upgrade. To find the correct identifying number necessitated that I revisit the shoes once more. God forbid I order the wrong pair! My plan, formulated over years of living with the man, was a surreptitious replacement of the new with the old. The old boy doesn’t cotton to change and isn’t the quickest to notice. Confident that I had the exact right pair in the exact right size and color, I clicked the buy button and waited for them to arrive at my door by the end of the week.

On Friday night, home late from work wearing his slippers, he placed the mail on the counter. Busy with putting the finishing touches on an over-cooked dinner and a bad case of the hangries, the idea of replacing one for the other right then was beyond me. I said, “The box is for you.” We had to go through the whole explanation of no it’s got your name is on it. I ordered it for you rigmarole before he opened the package.

After tearing into the package, he plucked a shoe from its box like he was handling a snake. I presumed he held the offending item away from him so it wouldn’t strike. “What are these?”

Fighting the urge to snarl, “What does it look like?” Late for dinner and low blood sugar brings out my worst qualities. In my most controlled and dulcet voice, I managed, “I thought you might like a new pair.”

He looked down at his feet as if I had insulted a dear friend and raced to their defense, “I don’t need new ones. These are still good.”

I kicked myself for thinking even for a minute that my husband was capable of acting like a normal human being when confronted with a gift.

“Can I keep these for outside?” He pleaded for his old friends like he was appealing to the governor for a stay of execution. I did my best not to cut my finger off and his head as I chopped parsley.

“No, you already have outside more than covered. Why don’t you try the new ones on?”

At the dinner table, he sat and removed one old slipper. He pushed the placemat and cutlery out his way, placing the old shoe beside a new one he proceeded to examine them comparing them like he was all of a sudden quality control wonk.

“It’s just a shoe!”

In the interim between the two purchases, the manufacturers had the audacity to change the pattern imprinted on the sole and oh-über-observant one noticed. “They aren’t the same.”

How he could tell is a wonder since most of the imprint had long worn away from the old pair. While I congratulated myself on saving my true love from a terrible tumble by buying him new kicks, I lamented that I failed to I stick to my original plan and just replace the old with the new. He would never have noticed.

Unable to suppress an exasperated eye roll, “Would you mind taking your shoes off the table and try the new ones on? Most horses are easier to shoe. Put them on!!!”

After repositioning his place setting in front of him, I put his dinner down. While he slipped his feet into the clean fluffy new shoes, I snatched the old things and tossed them in the trash. He was about to protest until he allowed himself to appreciate the fluffy softness enveloping his little piggies.

If it is true that becoming set in your ways only worsen with age, one of us will not reach our dotage. Boy, you are going to have to make friends with change.

NEIGHBORS: The Little Keswick Foundation for Special Education

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By Keswick Life

The Little Keswick Foundation for Special Education (LKFSE) will celebrate 35 years in operations in 2017. The Foundation, a 501(c)3 not-for-profit corporation, was established in 1982 by Bob and Libby Wilson of The Little Keswick School in Keswick, Virginia, to receive donations and gifts to the School. The School, which was founded in 1963, is a therapeutically and special needs boarding school for boys aged  8-14 with learning, emotional, or behavioral disabilities.

The Foundation is governed by Robert A. Wilson, Jr. (Beau), son of the Founders, and 7 Trustees, including former parents of students who have attended the School. According to Beau, the growth of the Foundation and the School provided enormous satisfaction to his father, Bob Wilson, who passed away on March 15, 2012. The vision of Bob Wilson is embedded in the Foundation today and eliminates the commingling of funds with the School. The Foundation receives donations and administers gifts for scholarships at the School, promotes special education awareness with annual symposia, and advancing skills of special educators with the Curry School of Education at the University of Virginia, all independent of School administration.

The Foundation accepts multi-year, restricted gifts for scholarships at the School. Parents who are in need of tuition support must complete the scholarship process with Princeton Financial Services. Other restricted gifts honor past student achievements in reading, art, and recreational activities.

In 2017, the Foundation will hold its 20th Annual Symposium with a renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Edward Hallowell. Dr. Hallowell is an expert on ADD and ADHD and author of 11 books, including Delivered from Distraction (2005). The annual symposium is free to the public and is delivered the second Thursday in October at the Piedmont Virginia Community College to raise awareness of special education in Central Virginia.

The Foundation is proud of its recent collaboration with the Curry School of Education at The University of Virginia. According to Dean Robert Pianta, “We are pleased to acknowledge the Foundation’s stipend to a graduate student in special education. And, coming a graduate like Bob Wilson makes the gift all the more special.”

The major public fundraising event for the Foundation is a golf tournament held the first Monday in May at Keswick Golf and Country Club. Again, the long collaboration with Keswick Hall and the Foundation always ensures a fun event to provide for scholarships. In 2017, the 23rd Annual Tournament will be held on Monday, May 8th..

The Foundation graciously accepts cash gifts on its Website, www.lkfse.org , or via mail at P.O. Box 722, Keswick, VA 22947. The Executive Director, Ms. Deb Woolfolk, may be contacted for arranging donations of appreciated securities, insurance policies, and planned giving. Ms. Woolfolk may be reached via telephone at 434-989-6866 or Emailing [email protected].

BOOKWORM: The Dream of Travel

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By Suzanne Nash

Around this time of year I get “itchy feet” and long to pack a bag and travel to parts unknown.  If you are like me and dream of travel but you can’t get away right now, books are a great way to transport you to other places and other times…at least you will get a mental break!

If you don’t want to go too far afield try In the Shadow of Lakecrest by Elizabeth Blackwell which takes place in 1928 Chicago. It has the flavor of Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca. A young woman, Kate, looking to escape her past, falls for a handsome young man on a transatlantic crossing.  She believes all her prayers are answered when the wealthy young man is equally smitten with her. She is not, however, the bride his family would have chosen for him.  As the new Mrs. Matthew Lemont Kate finds she has very little say in her day to day life.  Her mother-in-law, Hannah, wielded the real power and was not about to turn the running of the family home over to Kate.  She was also not about to let Kate take her son away from her. Underneath all of the family tension is the sinister disappearance years earlier of Matthew’s aunt Cecily. This is a novel full of twists and turns and I especially liked the way Blackwell ended the story.

Taking place around the same time, but a world away, A Gentleman in Moscow is set in 1928 Moscow.  Amor Towles is a beautiful writer whose lyrical style will be sure to capture your heart. Count Alexander Rustov finds himself consigned to house arrest by the Bolsheviks at the Metropol Hotel. His once sumptuous suite has been confiscated and he is transplanted to a small room near the attic.  Despite being detained and imprisoned, the Count comes into his own through his acquaintances at the hotel.  He is a man of purpose and a true gentleman in every sense of the word.  With style and wit we see the world change around him.  His elegance and aplomb keep him a gentleman to the end.  Through his tutoring and relationships with others we are taught some of the small distinguishing aspects that define a gentleman or lady’s behavior.  Small details of a person’s behavior define who they are and what they value.  Towles has a masterful way with words as he weaves food, love, espionage, politics, philosophy and class together to create a socially captivating tale that will make you feel as if you were right beside the Count as he elegantly glides through the political turmoil of the time.

If you want to bask in warmer climates you may want to investigate The Invitation by Lucy Foley.  The novel begins in 1953 Rome as Hal, a young struggling journalist, gets the opportunity to enjoy an evening in the upper circle of Roman society.  He is enchanted by the privileged life as well as by a beautiful young woman.  A year later Hal gets another lucky break and once more is thrust into the upper echelon of society. An Italian Contessa has hired him to report on a movie she has made that will be featured at the Cannes film festival.  She has invited Hal to travel with her and her entourage on her yacht.  The group includes an Italian actress, an American star, a reclusive director and the young woman he had met in Rome…Stella. Unfortunately Stella is married to a very controlling American and slowly we begin to unravel her tale.   Beautiful descriptions of Rome as well as the lovely Italian coast make this a true escape for the senses but it also wraps multiple stories together in a very readable way. While Foley’s writing style is not as sophisticated as Towles, this is still a thoroughly enjoyable book that will have you feeling the warm summer breezes of Italy.

So if you can’t get away physically this March, try taking a mental break and explore other places through reading.  Just think…you don’t even have to pack your bags!

COMMUNITY: 2017 Hovey S. Dabney Award for Corporate Citizenship

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The Charlottesville Regional Chamber of Commerce announced recently that it presented its 2017 Hovey S. Dabney Award for Corporate Citizenship to Roy Wheeler Realty Company, at a gathering of business and civic leaders attending the Annual Chamber Membership Meeting & Business Luncheon held at the Holiday Inn – Emmet Street on Wednesday, February 15th.

“Our Chamber is pleased to recognize Roy Wheeler Realty Company with our 2017 Chamber Hovey S. Dabney Award,” said Adrian Felts, Chief Operations Officer of Centridian, Immediate Past Chairman (2016) of the Chamber Board, and Chairman of the Hovey S. Dabney Award for Corporate Citizenship Selection Committee.  “Roy Wheeler Realty, and their dedicated professionals, define good corporate citizenship.”

The Annual Chamber Membership Business Meeting, underwritten by Virginia National Bank and R.E. Lee Companies, is regularly attended by 150-200 business & civic leaders.  The meeting and luncheon at the Holiday Inn – Emmet Street, will begin at 11:30AM.  Prior to the award presentation, Joseph Raichel, Wells Fargo Senior Vice President – Regional Business Banking Executive, who serves as the 2017 Chairman of the Chamber Board of Directors, will lead a presentation of the 2017 Annual Chamber Report to the Chamber membership and area business and civic leadership.

Roy Wheeler Realty was founded in Charlottesville in 1927 when its Founder, Roy Wheeler, borrowed $300 to start the company.  Ninety (90) years later, the firm proudly asserts its Founder’s philosophy that “service is our most important product.”   Today Roy Wheeler Realty’s more than 120 real estate associates and staff professionals work from six (6) offices in Central Virginia.  The firm’s President & CEO, Michael Guthrie, maintains the firm’s commitment to “Trust, Tradition and Market Leadership,” emphasizing adherence to a “helping hand” model in both business and within our communities.

Roy Wheeler Realty’s “helping hand” is demonstrated by the firm’s involvement in many area organizations and initiatives.  These include: Albemarle Housing Improvement Program’s Senior Safe at Home; Habitat for Humanity; the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank; the Food Bank’s Shop to Stop Hunger; the Senior Center; and many others.  The firm has been early and founding sponsors, and in many cases are continuing sponsors of such organizational initiatives as: the Blue Ridge 1st Tee program; AHIP House Party; Blue Ridge Home Builders Parade of Homes; Court Appointed Special Advocates; Senior Center;  Special Olympics; Big Brothers /Big Sisters; Salvation Army; Toy Lift; and many others.

Roy Wheeler Realty associates serve on myriad organizational Boards such as the Charlottesville Area Association of Realtors; the Virginia Realtors Association; Senior Center; Charlottesville Scholarship Program; Free Enterprise Forum; and, the Charlottesville Regional Chamber of Commerce.

Mr. Guthrie, the 2011 Chamber Christopher Lee Small Business Person Award recipient, has served on the Chamber Board of Directors since 2014.  Many of his associates are engaged in various Chamber activities including Leadership Charlottesville, Chamber Business Women’s Round Table, Quadruplicity and the Chamber Senior Round Table.

The Charlottesville Regional Chamber of Commerce established the Hovey S. Dabney Award for Corporate Citizenship in 2005 to recognize outstanding examples of corporate citizenship in the Greater Charlottesville communities.  This Chamber Award is established and named in honor of the late Hovey S. Dabney, a distinguished business leader and citizen in the Greater Charlottesville area, the Commonwealth of Virginia and our nation.  The Chamber Hovey S. Dabney Award for Corporate Citizenship is underwritten through the generosity of Hunter E. Craig, W. K. Heischman and Ivo Romenesko.

The 2017 Chamber Hovey S. Dabney Award Selection Committee, in addition to Mr. Felts as Committee Chairman, includes: Paul Beyer, Liza Borches, Martin Burks, III, Alison DeTuncq, Kristina Hofmann, Timothy Hulbert, Robert Pflugfelder, Joseph Raichel, Ivo Romenesko, Pamela Sutton-Wallace, Brinson White and Erika Viccellio. The Charlottesville Regional Chamber of Commerce is dedicated to representing private enterprise, promoting business and enhancing the quality of life in our greater Charlottesville communities.  The Chamber’s more than 1,200 member and affiliate member enterprises employ more than 45,000 people in our community, representing an estimated total payroll of more than $1.75 billion a year.

TRAVEL: A Sojourn on the San

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By Charles Thacher

Several Augusts past, a small group of dissolute regulars was gathered at the communal long table of my New York angling club for lunch, to imbibe in a wee dram and exchange the customary dubious tales of fishing exploits and expectations. Someone posited “So, anyone got any interesting trips coming up”.

I took the bait. “Actually, yeah. I’m going to Poland next month”

“Poland? What do you catch there? Gefilte fish?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just go to Buffalo?”

“Maybe when you’re there you can find out how many Poles it takes to…..?”

As tasty as the club’s food is, I’m not sure that it’s worth the verbal abuse that often stalks the long table. But, come September, off I went. After some sightseeing in Warsaw I flew southeast to Rzeszów, a city in the Carpathian foothills, about 35 miles equidistant from the borders with Slovakia and the Ukraine. From the latter part of the 18th Century until the end of WWI, this region was included in the Austrian Empire (with the rest of the former Poland being split between Prussia and, Russia), then was part of an independent Poland for the two decades between the wars, until it was invaded and occupied by the Russians just two weeks after the better-known German invasion of Poland in September 1939. Later during WWII, the Russian occupiers were supplanted by the Germans, then from 1945 until 1990 a communist government directed from Russia was in control, after which Poland became a democratic republic once again. A dismal history indeed. During those long periods of occupation and subjugation many Poles left the country for greener pastures, particularly the U.S. In fact, until recently, the Polish community in Chicago was larger than Warsaw.

On Saturday afternoon, I wandered into Rzeszów’s town square, lined with outdoor bars and restaurants, to discover that a music festival had just begun, featuring local song and dance groups, both folk and classical.  Most of the classical music was by Frédéric Chopin, the famed 19th Century composer and pianist who was one of history’s great musical prodigies and continues to be a revered Polish national hero, despite the fact that he left the country at age twenty, became a French citizen, and never again returned. The festival was capped off with a free concert by Andrzej Cierniewski, a senior citizen and one of the Country’s most popular entertainers, who might be described as the Polish Neil Diamond, except for the fact that Diamond himself is of Polish heritage. In any event, the audience, which packed the square, reacted to Cierniewski with similar loud enthusiasm, as did I. So good, so good!

The next morning Richard, my guide, picked me up and we drove for an hour to a house where I was to stay on the lower San River, which flows out of a reservoir, near the Bieszczady National Park – a major wilderness area. He told me that he had previously lived in Afghanistan, South Africa and Costa Rica, then for over twenty years in Chicago, returning to his village in Poland a few years earlier to care for his parents. He had a steady stream of exotic stories, or perhaps tall tales. When we arrived at the house, he asked to examine my flies. I showed him a typical assortment of common patterns, but also two boxes of tiny flies that I use on a few spring creeks and tail waters, when I don’t want to catch any fish. Surprisingly, he was most impressed with this collection of mysterious miniatures, noting that “no one ever brings flies like those here.”

Being astute, I immediately grasped the importance of Richard’s observation. If no one ever brought flies like those, then the fish had never seen their like. They would be easily inveigled and, perhaps, I would become a legend of the San. The American who untied the piscatorial Gordian Knot. The fishing hadn’t even started and I was already flushed with success.

The house is managed by Wojtek, an owner of the guiding operation.  He shops, cooks, cleans, occasionally guides and oversees his two young children while his wife works and lives during the week three hours away in Kraków. I met Dadek, his tow-headed two-year old son who constantly referred to himself in the first person as “Bebish”, for reasons that only he understood. Bebish and I got along famously because my half dozen words of Polish were among the few dozen that he had mastered.  During the week, an interesting collection of other guests – an American, a Brit, two Frenchmen and a Pole – showed up, seemingly unannounced. Some days one of them would fish with me, and at night they consumed prodigious quantities of vodka, the mother’s milk of Poland.

The first morning we futzed around after breakfast before finally leaving to fish at well past ten o’clock. As always at the start of a trip, I was a bit antsy, but as the week moved along, it became clear that there was no reason to get going early. The River’s six-mile fishing section is divided into eight designated beats, and to fish them requires obtaining a special permit each day. The first day, we stopped at the house of a forest ranger to get our assigned beat. When we arrived at our beat, two cars were already parked there and several anglers were in the water casting in earnest. No worries, Richard drove around until he found another beat that was empty and we fished there. This strange ritual repeated itself for all six days that I fished, with other anglers always at our assigned beat, but with another beat (that was assigned to someone else) always being empty and available.  And I never had to fish the same beat twice. But I did wonder why they bothered assigning beats. Perhaps it’s like screwing in a lightbulb.

The San, and its large population of brown trout and grayling, was a local secret until 1985 when the World Fly Fishing Championship was held there. As stories of the competitors’ success spread, anglers from all over Europe began flocking there. Because there were no fishing regulations, the fish population was decimated in a few years.  In the early 90s regulations were implemented and, today, it has a very large population of fish – perhaps too large.

The World Championship returned to the San in June, 2010. Poland has twice won the gold medal, trailing well behind the leader, the Czech Republic which has won nine, followed by France, Italy and England with seven, six and five, respectively. A U.S. team has competed every year, but has won only two medals – a silver and a bronze. We rank behind the likes of Slovakia and Wales, which by the way, is not even a country. This is an outrage! OMG, we invented the San Juan worm and the stomach pump. We spend the most effort and money on river conservation and restoration and what has it gotten us? Two lousy also-ran medals and a tarnished reputation – the laughing stock of the elite angling world. We need a blue-ribbon commission of angling nabobs to get to the bottom of this scandal, lest we continue to embarrass ourselves.

When we arrived at the beat I was impressed by the river’s width (30-50 yards across at most spots), its accessibility (mostly 3-4 feet deep throughout with gentle currents) and its physical beauty (lined with forest, bushes and meadows, and with virtually no development visible). Nothing happened on the water until about early afternoon when tiny olive mayflies began appearing, and the fish started to rise. Most of the rises were very subtle – tiny dimples. I thought probably fish feeding just below the surface. As usual, ignoring my own observation, I put on a small dry fly for half an hour with the predictable result – nothing. Then I picked out a small emerger pattern, and cast that in  front of some feeding fish. On my third or fourth try it drifted ten feet past the fish that I was casting to and began swinging across the current when another fish took it. As I landed a small trout, Richard came over to inspect. He complimented me on my success in matching the hatch. I readily, though with the requisite humility, accepted his approbation with an all-knowing nod, being too vain to admit that it was dumb luck and that, in fact, I had no idea what the fish wanted.

My initial experience repeated itself each day. Early in the afternoon, fish began rising steadily, and I caught a two or three an hour using a variety of different diminutive patterns, with the same one rarely catching more than a fish or two. It was engaging, because fish were rising constantly within casting distance, but it was frustrating because I couldn’t solve the problem. But I got satisfaction from the fact that Richard couldn’t either.

Richard told me that the fish in the San are roughly 2/3rds grayling and 1/3rd trout, though I caught primarily trout. The largest were about 15”, though most were 10-12”, which disappointed. I have met other anglers who have fished the San earlier in the season and who have caught larger fish, perhaps because the flies hatching at that time are larger, or maybe they knew what they were doing. The San is popular among British anglers because it’s one of the few rivers that offers a good chance to catch a grayling of well over 20”, and the Brits love large grayling more than pickled kippers.

As we walked and drove along the San, we saw much wildlife.  Roe deer, huge rotund European hares that looked like they had eaten too many vegan pierogies, blue and white herons, swans, ducks, geese, kingfishers, cranes and many other birds were common. Eagles and large owls were seen more than once. Richard said that he sometimes sees beavers, wild boars and red stags, and less often bears and wolves that reside in the National Park, which is also home to some of the few remaining European bison. The mute white storks, which are revered and treated as royalty in Poland, and can often be seen nesting on rooftops, had already left on their annual migration to Egypt. Occasionally Richard would interrupt his stories to divagate in search of wild mushrooms, a favorite activity of Poles everywhere.

The many small villages dotting the landscape in the San valley are charming, and seem quite prosperous. That’s impressive, given Poland’s long history of devastation by its neighbors, particularly the Germans and Russians, but even the Swedes and Lithuanians. From 1939-45, more than 6,000,000 Poles were killed, an awful carnage roughly equivalent to a 9-11 attack on every day in that 6-year period. Millions more were exiled or escaped, most never to return. Lesko, the largest town on the upper San, lost about 80% of its population during the War. The wartime destruction was followed by 45 years of oppressive and incompetent communist rule. How does such a country, in just over two decades, recover to the point that it looks like much of Western Europe? I don’t know, but it is a great tribute to the will, energy and spirit of the Polish people. Poland still has significant challenges – both political and economic – but that doesn’t dim the luster of what has been accomplished. It is inspiring to observe this remarkable rebirth firsthand.

On my last day, I was fishing late in the afternoon to a pod of sipping grayling. I heard voices behind me, and turned around to see three attractive young ladies standing on the bank, dressed in skimpy halters and what, in the 70s, we called “hot pants”. When they saw that I had noticed them they began talking to me, so I called Richard over to interpret.  He was, well, interested. I asked him what they were saying. “They’re local college girls and they want us to catch them a fish for dinner. If we do, we can go with them while they drop it off at home, and then they’ll buy us a drink at a club in town.” So, I was now presented with several dilemmas. First, it was a no-kill section. Would this be an extenuating circumstance that justified killing a fish, something like murder in self-defense? Second, I’m more than fifty years older than them and not all that spiffy (not to mention that I’m married). Third, and most significant, I had been fishing over the same pod for the last hour and hadn’t come close to hooking a fish.  Now, with the added pressure, I’d probably have no chance. But being empathetic with Richard’s concupiscence (I, of course, was impervious to their charms), I increased my efforts, frantically changing flies every several casts, sadly without success. When I turned around and asked Richard to reassure the trio that I was still in the game, he pointed out that they had given up and left, probably to find someone fishing with worms.

During the occasional downtime on the San, as during the downtime on many other distant rivers, I thought about why I would travel so far, and at such inconvenience, for a fishing experience that is often measurably no better, and sometimes not as good, as I can get on rivers in the U.S.  I suppose that the answer defies logic. I travel to distant places because there is fishing, and yet if the fishing results fall short of my hopes or expectations, it often does not diminish my enjoyment of the experience. And that’s a good thing, because fishing is fraught with risk and unpredictability. There is nothing original in these thoughts. Way back in 1774, English author Charles Bowlker, in The Art of Angling, put fishing in its proper perspective with exceptional clarity:

Remember that the wit and invention of man were given for greater purposes than to ensnare silly fish: and that, how delightful soever angling may appear, it ceases to be innocent when used otherwise than as mere recreation.

What a valuable thought to keep in mind as I plan my next fishing trip.

COVER STORY: 2016 Looking Back

By

By Colin J. Dougherty

January

As is the tradition, on the cover, was an excellent review of where we have been in 2016! As we began the New Year we wanted readers to take a moment to look back, so we’d pulled together the best from 2016 and put them all in one place. We wished everyone a new year that’s quite simply the best. Key parts of each month’s issue for 2016 were summarized with the highlights to bring it all back to the time or place that has gone too soon or perhaps not soon enough. Most importantly, we took the journey together, as Keswickians.

As Keswickians, we celebrated the life of Hugh Motley, with special contributor Leonard Shapiro writing of the man who loved life, and in turn was loved by so many, truly a character with great spirit right to the very end. The article featured comments and thoughts from many beloved friends and family members that gave a unique insight into this local hero. Shapiro reminded us that, “Yes, he loved horse racing. Most of all, he loved Winkie, his beloved wife of 40 years, and his daughter, Sheila, the gorgeous and multi-talented mom of his precious grandson, Collins. He loved his friends; he loved his family, he loved a party, riding in the hunt, driving an open-top convertible, making birdies and reading a good book, usually with a cold Budweiser nearby.”

Sporting Life, we took a trip with Sandy Rives, Keswick local and special contributor, with Keswickian Hugh Motley of more than 25 years ago, and hundreds of foxhunts since then, but they remember it like it was yesterday. Barclay Rives, Bruce Eckert, Hugh Motley and Sandy Rives loaded up in Hugh Motley’s Imperatore box Horse Van and hit the road!

Life Happens, Mary Morony opened her monthly column with the thought that “there isn’t a man or woman alive today who doesn’t feel the angst of a world operating with little virtue.” We joined the conversation and jotted down our thoughts.

Travel regular columnist, Joe Sheilds took us on a traveling tale to Mossy Creek, near Bridgewater, for some brown trout fishing. But as is often the case the trip takes on a turn in another direction – where life, learning and talking to cows all cross paths with rod and reel.

February

It’s February, Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog renowned for his ability to forecast the onset of spring did not see his shadow after emerging from his burrow on that fateful Tuesday morning, predicting an early spring. Phil’s prediction came at about 7:25 a.m. and was met with cheers from a crowd of thousands who participated under a clear sky and 21-degree Fahrenheit (-6.1 Celsius) temperatures in the folk tradition that have been embraced by winter-weary Americans for more than a century. According to legend, if Phil sees his shadow on Groundhog Day, February 2, the cold weather will not loosen its grip on North America for six weeks. But if the morning is cloudy, and no shadow appears, spring-like weather is supposedly around the corner.

We nestled up next to a cozy fire, grabbed our copy of Keswick Life and filled up with the warmth of the latest issue, packed with the practical, hysterical, informative and of course, the ‘Overheard’.  When we dug out, we reported in and told it to Keswick Life.

Life Happens, Mary Morony’s column, says who needs an unreliable groundhog or a top hat sporting member of the Ground Hog Club to foretell the coming of an early spring? Mary Morony sits you down at the kitchen table with her warm and authentic writing style, captures your attention with this funny, witty and telling the tale of change ahead!

Keswickian, Mary Jane Timmerman takes us to a gathering of Keswickians at their Farm, Round Hill, in honor of The Wildlife Center of Virginia and its past and present donors. We all know what a natural treasure Central Virginia is, for us and for the native species that share their habitat with us. Get the details on this particular night of honor and awareness – get involved!

Keswick Scene, see all the goings on in Keswick and the environs with this month’s photo journals on the Keswick Scene – we visited the 2016 Keswick Hunt Ball, the hunt at Mt. Sharon in Horsin Around plus the Keswick Hunt Club’s annual Beer and Bingo night with winner Larry Tharpe!  If you see something happening, be sure to write in and tell Keswick Life!

March

The cover, Spring Has Sprung, each spring visitors are welcomed to over 250 of Virginia’s most beautiful gardens, homes and historical landmarks during “America’s Largest Open House.”

This 8-day statewide event provides visitors a unique opportunity to see unforgettable gardens at the peak of Virginia’s springtime color, as well as beautiful houses sparkling with over 2,000 flower arrangements created by Garden Club of Virginia members. Get all the details for tours in our area by reading our comprehensive guide to the Garden Week!

Only in Keswick, Tony Vanderwarker takes us on a humorous tale of life in Keswick “according to Tony” – Can Westminster Canterbury Be That Far Away?  Growing old isn’t for sissies!

On Stage, the Dave Matthews Band turns 25! On May 11, 1991, the Dave Matthews Band played its first official gig at a warehouse on South Street in downtown Charlottesville. On May 7, the band, which has sold more than 30 million records worldwide in the quarter-century since that first show, will celebrate its silver anniversary in a much larger venue just a few miles away – read all about it in Keswick Life’s On Stage column.

Community, the University of Virginia and the Thomas Jefferson Foundation at Monticello will present their highest honors, the Thomas Jefferson Foundation Medals in Architecture, Law, Citizen Leadership, and Global Innovation during their joint Founder’s Day activities. Read all about it in Keswick Life’s Community section.

Mary Morony’s March column opens with “Spring is positively ripe with metaphor and more so than ever this election year.  I write this in an attempt to sort out my feelings on the political season while delving into spring’s metaphors. I always look forward to spring—likely the season I anticipate most.” Read her unique and warm outlook on her life in “Life Happens.”  Join Mary in the journey!

April

Keswick Life April 2016On the cover, It’s Showtime, the 112th Annual Keswick Horse is coming to town. Get Out and enjoy the competition at the historic showgrounds in Keswick and remember the Keswick Horse Show food stand will be serving their fabulous food- breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Get the details of the big event, get out and enjoy and be sure to tell it to Keswick Life!

Keswick Scene, the 82nd Annual Garden Club of Virginia Daffodil Show was on March 30th and March 31st held at the Hampton Roads Convention Center and hosted by the Huntington Garden Club – the results are in along with those from the Keswick Flower Show held at Grace Church, Keswick, Va.

What’s Cooking, Sam Johnson is no stranger to keeping it cool under pressure. He works hunt club events, caters with the best in Charlottesville and pours over the details of elegant Palm Beach weddings all keeping his cool and with a big warm smile. We suspect the culinary interests are inspired by his Mother; Sam has always learned from the best – here is his go to Salmon dish!

Bookworm, mornings are still a bit chilly so it is the perfect time to curl up in bed on my days off with a cup of tea and a few good books to start the day – says Suzanne Nash our book reviewer.  Don’t miss her great reads and tips to keep your appetite high for great books!

Featured Property, Old Manse was built in 1868 by Reverend Dr. Isaac W. K. Handy in his role as Pastor of Orange Presbyterian Church. Of frame construction over a brick foundation capped with a standing seam metal roof, this is a lovely center hall colonial situated on 46 acres inside the town boundaries. Get all the details in our Featured Property section this month!

May

On the cover, Beyond the Gates, the Insiders Guide to the Grace Church Historic Farm Tour! Grace Church Celebrates Seventh Annual “beyond the gates” Farm Tour and Country Fair, Saturday, June 11, 2016, What’s better than a day in the country exploring some of Virginia’s fabulous historic farms? On Saturday, June 11, 2016, visitors are invited “beyond the gates” here they may view the lands and agrarian lifestyles known to some of the nation’s founders and alike! We received a railside preview of Keswick’s Grace Church Farm Tour! Keswick Life’s coverage is the only resource you will need to get all the information you need before you go!

Life Happens, regular columnist Mary Morony shared updates with her devoted readers on the status of Hagar, the Great Dane, on his road to recovery after Wobblers and Cruciate Degeneration Disorder.

Keswickian, Fritz Kundrun running the London Marathon to raise awareness for Brooke USA. Photo courtesy of the London Marathon – the full story in Keswick Scene!

What’s Cooking,  Ann Coles and Norma Ballheim give us a taste of what’s inside the Keswick Garden Club’s 2016 cookbook – take a look and buy a copy!

Community, Summer Camp Guide 2016 in the Keswick area is ready to kick off! It is not too late to get in on the action and give the kiddos something fun and enriching to do for a few hours while you run around town!

June

Keswick Life | June 2016On the Cover, Two Blind Brothers – One Bold Vision, Keswick ‘sons’ and UVA grads Bradford and Bryan Manning have launched a company with a charitable aim: curing the disease that is robbing them of their sight. We’re very excited about the potential for growth and impact of Two Blind Brothers,” added co-founder Bryan Manning. “We’ve received an outpouring of support from social media and are striving to create a community around the fight for a cure. We have 50,000 hits and counting on a video we recently released on Facebook and have already sold out of popular styles. We’re happy to be producing in New York, creating ethical luxury products that look and feel great.”

Keswick Scene, Farm Tour 2016 – the stage is set, and guests started to arrive, feather banners naming the sponsors billowed in the breeze as cars pulled into the circle at Airslie for valet parking. The night was electric, no really a massive storm was being predicted, and our hope was just to get all those arriving safe inside. Get all the details of the kickoff party, the big day, and the many thank yous to volunteers and sponsors alike!

What’s Cooking, Arnold and Ernest, on the Keswick scene, after sitting down with these two gentlemen it is obvious to see their passion for not only the drinks they create but the people they create them for. They can do it some ways, as the saying goes – straight up, neat on the rocks or if you’re flexible with a twist!

July

On the cover, Butcher, Chef and Partisan! Nate Anda takes his meat seriously: a combination of classic culinary training, immersion in the art of charcuterie, and an unshakable commitment to the tradition of butchery has shaped every aspect of his work.  Read the story of this local son in Keswick Life!

Horsin’ Around, has all the details on our local Keswickians headed to the Olympics, the US Saddle Seat World Cup results, Fitch’s Corner event and so much more! Get all the details of the events, results, and hopes and dreams realized!

Keswickian Ashley Sieg Williams and Chef Brice Cunningham have joined forces to launch Absolute Cuisine, an upscale catering company that is ready to wow you and your guests with innovative, Michelin Star-worthy dishes. Get all the details in this month’s ‘What’s Cooking”, plan a party and tell all about it in Keswick Life!

Bookwork, so if you are in the mood for literary indulgence take a trip to the library and grab a selection of titles to tempt you into some late night reading – Suzanne Nash brings us through some great books for those end of the summer moments!

Life Happens, Mary Morony, a favorite and regular columnist at Keswick Life, with a new book out and touring – still takes the times to write for us! She tempts us in a ‘make a wish’ piece that is sure to entertain!

Weddings, Christopher Dammann, son of Ralph and Charlotte Dammann of Keswick and Mia Magruder daughter of Mark and Ella Magruder tie the knot!

August

On the cover, Retail Revival – the shops at 205 Main Street in Gordonsville!

A new door opened in Gordonsville and beyond lies a treasure-house full of imagination, experience, and magic! European antiques, stuffed toy animals, ladies’ beautiful accessories, Belgium crystal, French chandeliers and a Kangaroo Rocker are certain to capture your attention.

Horsin’ Around has all the details on over 100 horses and riders that came from throughout central Virginia to participate in an old-fashioned summer horse show at the historic Keswick hunt club show grounds.

What’s Cooking, Rick O’Connell, chef, and proprietor of the Inn at Little Washington will be a keynote speaker for the exciting preview event for the Heritage Harvest Festival which is hosted at the Paramount Theater – read all about the event right here in Keswick Life!

On Exhibit, the National Sporting Library & Museum presents ‘The Chronicle of the Horse in Art’ – a major exhibition that gathers a sampling of forty-six American, British, and Continental oil paintings, watercolors, and sculptures.  The exhibit highlights a variety of material that was placed in front of readers, on the covers of the Chronicle of the Horse, a national equestrian magazine, for almost seventy years.

Life, Make It Happen, Morony changes up the column with a revised name and theme – Life, Make It Happen!, Make A Wish. Take A Chance. Make A Change.

September

On the cover, Keswickian, Tony Vanderwarker has just released his new book.  The title, “I’m Not From the South But I Got Down Here As Fast As I Could – How a Connecticut Yankee Learned To Love Grits and Fried Green Tomatoes And Lived To Tell About It.”  Keswick Life’s Colin Dougherty caught up with Tony to get an inside look at the author, his writing process, the new book and life in general. Tony has published three books, Writing With the Master, Sleeping Dogs, and Ads For God. He has four grown children and now lives on a farm in Keswick with his wife, four dogs, a horse and a Sicilian donkey named Jethro.

Horsin’ Around has all the details on the handlers, owners, and breeders that showcased their top hunter prospects this past week at the 2016 Sallie B. Wheeler/US Hunter Breeding National Championship. Get all the details on the winners and the competition in Keswick Life’s Horsin’ Around.

Life, Make It Happen columnist Mary Morony writes from a modified column title this month with here latest work titled Laughing at Fears and Uncertainty. She begins with reminding us “there is an extreme amount of uncertainty for us to fear currently.  There’s the presidential election, enough said.  There’s also climate change, international, economic and political uncertainty all around us.” Put your fears aside and read on, Mary will ‘make it happen”.

Business Insider, takes us to Mason Insurance which turns 125 this year – the company’s history surrounds them daily—pictures of their ancestors who worked at the same company adorn the walls. A photo of Mason as a child hangs in his office. In it, there’s a telegram telling his mother that a desk had already been picked out for the youngest family member.

On Exhibit, masterworks from one of the world’s great private libraries devoted to the plant world, Redouté to Warhol: Bunny Mellon’s Botanical Art will be on view at the LuEsther Mertz Library at The New York Botanical Garden beginning October 8, 2016.

October

On the cover, Foxhunting Etiquette – Traditions That Harken Back Hundreds of Years to the Very Beginning of Foxhunting. This year 2016/17 being the 120th season of the Keswick Hunt Club, we often need to refresh the traditions and etiquette of this age old sport. Foxhunting is meant to be a fun sport, after all, most fox hunters have risen early, cleaned a horse, tack, clothes, etc. shipped to the meet and then are expecting a fun morning in the sport. Our Editor, Winkie Motley, takes us on a refresher of traditions that matter for hundreds of years, since the very beginning – with thanks to Norman Fine’s “Foxhunting Life.”

Horsin’ Around, has all the details on Stellar Wind, a chestnut filly with a white blaze bred in Virginia by Keswick Stables & Stonestreet Thoroughbred Holdings. Read all about it in Keswick Life!

Community, our Editor, Winkie Motley, reached out to follow up on an invitation to an event held in support of the Town of Gordonsville.  Lauren Bauk, of PBM Capital Group in Charlottesville, filled us in on the goings-on in the Town, a possible new use for some vacant buildings and a new program at the University of Virginia.

Bookworm, Suzanne Nash sits in retreat, writing her reviews on a porch in beautiful Orkney Springs, enjoying the smell of wood burning in the fireplace and the company of good friends.

Travel, Charles Thacher, a first-time contributor, enjoys fishing in two ponds on his property and on surrounding farms. Catching a large bass or catfish, or even a good brim, on a fly rod is exciting. But, the allure of traveling to far-flung locations to experience the joys of fly fishing while immersed in an entirely different culture continues to be addictive – get set for a tale in Bhutan as Charlie takes you on an incredible journey.

November

On the cover, Virginia Field Hunter Championship. Shortly after World War II, a group of Virginia Foxhunters wanted to hold a hunter trial for horses that had been hunted regularly for the past hunting season from each hunt within the State of Virginia. The masters from each hunt were to nominate two horses to represent their hunt in a class which they called the Virginia Field Hunter Championship. Get some of the history and the story of this year’s winner, our very own Will Coleman, Sr.

Keswick Scene, the 82nd running of the Montpelier Hunt Races, an annual celebration of steeplechase racing and Virginia Piedmont hospitality, was held on Saturday, November 5, at James Madison’s Montpelier. Keswick Life has covered it, and the photo journal takes you right there!

Travel, Joe Shields is back and brings us to Peanut Island! The Island, created in 1918 with excavation debris from the construction of the Palm Beach Inlet.  It was formerly called Inlet Island, but the name changed after plans were made to use the island for a peanut-shipping operation.  The venture never happened, but the name stuck.

Weddings,  Keswickian Katie Manning, tied the knot with Chris Henry on September 17 in Keswick, Virginia, at Grace Episcopal Church. Get all the details of the celebration with Friends and family gathered in the property’s restored 1903 cattle barn – don’t miss this story full of surprises and special touches, congratulations!

Photo Journal, George Payne, a frequent contributor, with an amazing eye and ability to get the shot!

December

Seems like just yesterday, but five years ago, Keswickians shared their intimate Christmas thoughts, decorations, gift giving and traditions with Keswick Life. Have a merry and the happiest for the New Year from Keswick Life!

Keswick Scene, the photos are in – check out Keswickians as they celebrate this glorious time of the year at various events in and around Keswick. Get out and celebrate or lift someone’s spirits with a Christmas visit filled with cheer – and be sure to tell it to Keswick Life!

Bookworm, Suzanne Nash gives us multiple good books to light your way in the New Year!  She goes local, with Keswick’s very own Fred Shackelford upon the release of his new novel The Ticket. It’s a great way to start your year off right. Catch Suzanne’s review on page 18 and write into Keswick Life with your letters and comments!

Life, Make It Happen columnist Mary Morony’s latest, Forgiveness Starts With Me, recounts an experience last month where she learned where forgiveness must originate for it to be real. A lesson with this much value requires sharing. Giving yourself a break, besides making a lot of sense has benefits galore. So, grab a cup of tea, a cozy blanket and warm up with Mary and be sure to take some time to reflect and comment!

Travel, Charlie Thacher takes us to Tasmania! He recounts his travel there, the scenery and the wildlife. For the intrepid angler, he speaks of hundreds of rivers that are virtually unfished, where those eight-pound monsters could be lurking. Oh, and one might encounter a deadly snake, a platypus or even the devil. Get all the details of their family adventure here in Keswick Life!

ONLY IN KESWICK: Looking Back On Christmas

By

By Tony Vanderwarker

Face it, Christmas is a tough time for Martians.

Because if you don’t get your jollies wrapping packages and don’t see the value of slathering yards of decorative ribbon around them, don’t enjoy looking through stacks of Christmas cards with families dressed to the nines and smiling like they’re auditioning for The Brady Bunch and would rather have a root canal than go to the 10 PM service, then you are chalked up as not only a hopeless Martian, but also as a complete grinch.

No matter how many pre-Xmas pacts you’ve negotiated about not overdoing presents, when you only own up to having the allotted three, you get grinched. “Yeah, we had an agreement,” she’ll say, “but I didn’t expect you to hold to it—after all, it’s Christmas!”

So if you’re like me, you rush out at the last minute and peevishly squander a bunch of money on a gift hoping it puts you back in good graces again. I usually end up at Angelo’s pointing at some trinket and praying it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. When the salesgirl tells me the price, I think to myself, “Good, only a leg!”

Chances are the bauble will get you through Christmas dinner, but later in the day she’s bound to say, “I hope next year you don’t have to buy your way back into favor with some lavish gift.” And if you respond with, “If you don’t like it, you can take it back,” only gets you in deeper. It’s best, I’ve learned, just to cut your losses and sit there eating humble pie. Face it, you’re a hopeless grinch.

And God forbid you try to limit the number of gifts each grandchildren gets by saying, “Jeez, you already got Molly the doll, a bunch of clothes and the camera—don’t you think that’s enough?” What you get in return is, “What do you want to do? Wreck the poor child’s Christmas?”

Plus, you’d better learn to back off when she drags you into the pet store and starts chucking gifts for the dogs into the cart. “Don’t you think Rufus will just love these?” Even if you’re tempted to say something like: “I’m not sure that dogs even know its Christmas.” Such a seemingly innocuous statement can get you into big trouble. I should know, I tried it last year and got, “I can’t believe you’d say such a thing–of course they do!”

But the place where you can really step in it is with the tree. First thing you need to know is that to a Martian, all the trees look pretty much the same but in Venusian reality there is no such thing as a perfect tree. That’s why you have to go through every tree in the damn lot to find the one with the least imperfections. You have to listen to, “Hold this one up for me, will you?” at least twenty times.

And of course its freezing cold out there and you’ve forgotten gloves so the needles prick and itch your wrists. So by the time you get to the twentieth, you’re starting to repeat, “So this one looks pretty good, don’t you think?”

“No, no, no, can’t you see there’s a big hole in the side?” Or, “C’mon, it leans way to the left.” Or, “Are you kidding me? That’s the ugliest tree I’ve ever seen.”

Ten more trees and she’s finally resigned to saying, “Well, I guess unless you want to try the other lot, we’ll have to settle for this one.”

“Oh no, I think this one will look great,” you say as you fork over the eighty bucks for the flawed tree and drag it to the car.

Then the fun starts. I swear Christmas tree stands were invented in medieval times. High tech they aren’t. I don’t know why someone doesn’t invent a remote-controlled gizmo that stands the tree up straight and screws it in automatically. I mean, now you can turn up the heat when you’re in Zanzibar and vacuum your house with a robot, I don’t know why we’re condemned to this Stone Age mechanism.

Here’s the drill. First you have to approximate a 90 degree angle with the tree, then hit the deck and scoot under the branches, hoping the tree doesn’t decide to do a sudden lean on you. Christmas tree stands have these thumbscrews that rust in place over the summer so you have to crawl out and get pliers to loosen them. You painstakingly screw each one in a little bit so you gradually surround the trunk, hopefully holding it in place only to creep out to hear the wife saying, “You call that straight?” So it’s back under the tree until you get it right. One Christmas, I got sent back under four times.

Every Christmas it seems like there are tons more ornaments. And of course there are the lights that don’t work. I swear someone sneaks in over the summer and adds more ornaments and sabotages the strings of lights so that you have to make a trip to Lowe’s and buy more. You stand in line with a bunch of fellow saps all holding items to replace the ones that went on the fritz the past year.

I don’t know when I’m going to learn to toss the lights and buy new ones next Xmas. But jeez, I think to myself, what with the bracelet I bought at Angelo’s, the toys for the grandkids and the dogs—doesn’t someone have to be fiscally responsible around here? Maybe I’ll wait on the lights until next year. That’s when you come to realize the whole cycle is destined to repeat again.

And finally there’s the damn antique star that goes at the tippy-top so you have to risk a hospital trip by getting up on the tallest stepladder you have and, leaning precariously over the top of the tree, insert it onto the tree’s top, praying you don’t slip a step and end up in a full-body cast for the holidays.

And all the time you have to smile and grin like you’re having the time of your life, when you’re actually praying she’ll forget the last box of ornaments and call it a day. No such luck. Every one of the 633 ornaments is going to go on the tree. It’s enough to make you start drinking eggnog early.

So every Christmas I say to myself, Hooray for New Years! It can’t come soon enough.